You're already dreading the holidays

#Holidays, #Emotional Health, #Re-entry

It is barely autumn. Nobody has hung a single string of lights. And yet someone mentions Thanksgiving, and something in your chest tightens.

If the first holiday season back is already sitting heavy, that reaction makes more sense than it feels like it does. The holidays concentrate everything re-entry is already asking of a returning ministry worker, and they do it in about six weeks.

Start with the expectations. Holidays come with a script: gratitude, warmth, everyone delighted to be in one room. A worker still grieving a team, a language, and a neighborhood halfway around the world can feel like a fraud for not matching the mood. Then add the abundance — the food, the wrapping paper, the sheer volume — landing on eyes that have recently seen much less. Re-entry guides list overwhelm at choice and strong reactions to waste among the most common experiences of coming home.

You can be deeply glad to be home and still find the holidays heavy. Both things are true at once.

Then there is the pull on your time: invitations from every direction and a request to "share a few words" at church. Saying yes to all of it is how workers arrive at January completely empty.

And quietly underneath, the traditions changed while you were gone. Someone else hosts now. The kids are grown. The person who always carved is no longer at the table.

A few things genuinely help. Decide in advance what you will say yes to, and keep that number small. Carry one tradition home from the field — a dish, a song, a prayer — so the place you loved has a seat at the table. And tell one person the truth before December, not after.

The season is coming whether you have a plan or not — so make one while there is still time.

Return Again helps returning workers and those who love them get ready for seasons like this. Find support at returnagain.org.